about this feeling

You know that moment when you look at certain photos and you caught yourself laughing or smiling because it reminded you of something you couldn't forget? Like all the memories just flash back right in front of you when you see those photos? I recognized that feeling so well. In fact, it has become an addiction to look at those photos because it reminded me of how I used to live my life the way I thought I never will- In joy.
I have been such a mess these few weeks. My feeling and emotions were (not surprisingly) mixed up. Like everything is not right these few weeks. I have this enormous fear about not scoring my spm. I am so damn close on giving up in my studies because of the shame I'll get if I didn't score well in it. But it's funny how when you're about to give up on something, just on that moment, you realized of how bad you want it in the first place.

"I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I'll feel great again" -Charlie (The perks of being a wallflower) 

xoxo,

Hanny Anggara

Aku tidak terpikir untuk menyingkir sebutir pasir, meski kau datang begitu lama. Sekarang bersenang-senanglah untuk menjadikan aku seperti telapak kaki telanjang yang meraba-raba tajamnya batu-batu kecil yang berserakan di tengah jalan hidupku ini. Sungguh dan mengherankan, aku tidak faham tentang banyak hal, tetapi bukanlah suatu kekeliruan bila aku mencintaimu. Maka adakah aku diam dalam jidatmu saat kamu berlaku seenak jidat dan enggan menepuk jidatmu sendiri?

Sayang, terkadang cinta adalah masalah hidup yang berat, namun kaki ku tidak merasa ringan untuk memilih lari dari itu. Tanganku harus kuat memukul bintang dilangit untuk kusanggup melepaskanmu dari genggaman. Kaulah hamparan alam di bawah langit duniaku. Datanglah dengan segera!