I'm still having a hard time to breath since my flu haven't recover fully but I like it this way. The way I inhale the oxygen kind of feels like I'm back to being fourteen. And being fourteen could only mean one thing; Falling in love.
During the lesson, we are being asked by our teacher to make an essay about 'Love'. Interesting ideas immediately pop out in my mind but then when I want to turn those ideas into words, sadly, my hand couldn't produce any sentences to tell people how I really feel. The only thing that I wrote on the first paragraph of my essay is 'Love, is very subjective'.
Being in love is not my thing. I admit, I suck at it because I get bored so easily. I can fall in love with a person so quickly and usually, I was the one who call it off. I've been into a serious relationship once, that is when I was thirteen, the rest of my so-called-love stories are boring. My point of weaknesses is that I'm too scared of hurting the other party- and that's why none of my past relationship ever last. It's not like I'm scared of relationships or I don't believe in love. It's just that, commitment freaks me out. I don't want to be in a relationship with a boy who
1. don't know who Sophie Kinsella is
2. love me because of my beauty
3. force me to change
4. get mad so easily on little stuff that can be discussed
5. listen to crap music that I hate
6. wear a skin tight jeans
7. called his girl friends by cute names
8. called me by funny names
9. solve things off by arguing
10. don't do his prayers
11. think that fatness is caused by foods
12. didn't score well in schools
13. give up without even trying it out
14. don't understand my words
15. keep his nails long
16. is a fan of Manchester United
17. says that Liverpool sucks
18. can't think for himself what more to think about others
19. lie to me
20. doesn't know the first thing about manners
And the list goes on. I don't neglect people who fall into that list, I give chances for that particular person to understand the real me, only then I will decide if I want to continue spending my days next to him. I may be old fashioned if I tell you that I will wait for the right boy to came into my life at the right time and at the right place but that is the only thing that I believe in a relationship. I believe that someday it will happened to me, I don't know where or when but it will come naturally.
I will not hesitate, I will not tell people of how desperate I am to be in love because love is very subjective. Love can happen between a mum and a daughter, between a cat and the owner, between friends and so much more similar cases. And right now, I'm in love with my life, in love with trying new things out and in love with myself because I know, one day, there will be a boy who will love me for what I am loving.
xoxo,
-H-
No comments:
Post a Comment